Pink Flamingo Youth Fundraiser - Currently Not Active
Yard Flamingo Fundraiser - IT’S TIME TO THINK PINK!
The Flamingo Flocking season is here. Granted, it’s an ornithological rarity, but we have confirmed reports that large flocks of flamingos will soon be landing on the lawns of unsuspecting area residents sometime in the near future. Our highly confidential sources tell us that these particularly tacky birds, (pinkus flamingous plasticus) tend to show up in the dark of night, accompanied by several members of the FULP youth group, who generally do their best not to laugh and guffaw too loudly as they surreptitiously plant flocks of pink flamingos on local lawns.
WARNING: YOUR YARD COULD BE IN THEIR FLIGHT PATH!
Fortunately, there are a variety of cures for a flamingo infestation.
Should you wake up one morning to a sea of pink flamingos in your lawn, take heart! There will be instructions on how, for a small donation of $10.00, the nice kids in the youth group will come remove the pesky critters.
Your lawn gets de-flamingoed and this worthy group gets some much needed funding for the SPCA and their trip to Knoebels Amusement Park.
GOT A FLAMINGO-PHOBIA?
No worries! By talking to any youth or placing a quick call to 717-991-8289, you can purchase a Flamingo Flocking Insurance Policy for just $20.00. Once again, all monies will go to this outstanding local group and your home will be spared the embarrassment of blushing in various shades of pink! And of course, if you feel you cannot contribute, that’s okay. Just let us know and the flock will move on!
DON’T GET MAD, GET EVEN!
Should you find a flamingo flock in your yard, you can “share the joy” by contacting the nice folks in the youth group, making a small donation of $15.00 for flamingo removal and then, you can choose who’s yard the flamingoes will migrate to!
(And, before anyone asks the question, the answer is YES…while it may not be entirely ethical, we DO take BRIBES, in the form of the highest donation offered, to flock and re-flock anyone who hasn’t already had the good sense to purchase a Flamingo Flocking Insurance Policy!)
Faith United Lutheran Parish Youth Group
The Flamingo Flocking season is here. Granted, it’s an ornithological rarity, but we have confirmed reports that large flocks of flamingos will soon be landing on the lawns of unsuspecting area residents sometime in the near future. Our highly confidential sources tell us that these particularly tacky birds, (pinkus flamingous plasticus) tend to show up in the dark of night, accompanied by several members of the FULP youth group, who generally do their best not to laugh and guffaw too loudly as they surreptitiously plant flocks of pink flamingos on local lawns.
WARNING: YOUR YARD COULD BE IN THEIR FLIGHT PATH!
Fortunately, there are a variety of cures for a flamingo infestation.
Should you wake up one morning to a sea of pink flamingos in your lawn, take heart! There will be instructions on how, for a small donation of $10.00, the nice kids in the youth group will come remove the pesky critters.
Your lawn gets de-flamingoed and this worthy group gets some much needed funding for the SPCA and their trip to Knoebels Amusement Park.
GOT A FLAMINGO-PHOBIA?
No worries! By talking to any youth or placing a quick call to 717-991-8289, you can purchase a Flamingo Flocking Insurance Policy for just $20.00. Once again, all monies will go to this outstanding local group and your home will be spared the embarrassment of blushing in various shades of pink! And of course, if you feel you cannot contribute, that’s okay. Just let us know and the flock will move on!
DON’T GET MAD, GET EVEN!
Should you find a flamingo flock in your yard, you can “share the joy” by contacting the nice folks in the youth group, making a small donation of $15.00 for flamingo removal and then, you can choose who’s yard the flamingoes will migrate to!
(And, before anyone asks the question, the answer is YES…while it may not be entirely ethical, we DO take BRIBES, in the form of the highest donation offered, to flock and re-flock anyone who hasn’t already had the good sense to purchase a Flamingo Flocking Insurance Policy!)
Faith United Lutheran Parish Youth Group
